English is Confusing..:(

Hey read this, its really very interesting........

Some of CONFUSING ENGLISH make me headache, would u help me?


1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?


2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?


3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?


4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?


5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?


7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?


8. Why is it called building when it is already built?


9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?


10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?


11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?


12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ??


13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this??


Well, get back to WORK now!!

Floral Occasion

Yesterday, a florist made deliveries to five different customers, including Albert. Each person had ordered an arrangement of a single type of flower for a special occasion. In all, the five customers ordered four types of flowers for four types of occasions.
1. Less than two customers have the same first and last initials.
2. Neither Rosalind nor the person surnamed Buchanan ordered flowers for a bar mitzvah.
3. Teresa didn’t order dahlias.
4. The person surnamed Reggiano was the only person who ordered tulips.
5. No one ordered irises for a graduation.
6. Louise, who didn’t order flowers for a bar mitzvah, is good friends with someone who did; one of these two customers is surnamed Lopez (who didn’t order roses).
7. The only person who ordered flowers for a wedding is a woman.
8. One customer bought the same kind of flowers as Joseph and was celebrating the same kind of event as the person surnamed Ming (who isn’t Joseph).
9. Ms. Taylor is the only person who ordered flowers for a first communion.
10. At least one man ordered roses.
Can you figure out the full name of each customer, the type of flower he/she ordered and the type of occasion for which the flowers were ordered?

Difficult Question

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.


"What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on thecorrectness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's theDAY sir!"


"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!

Kidnapping..

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a
kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him
behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag

and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side
of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and
sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure
enough a paper bag was

kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next
to the bag. Sardarji

opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash
with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

Puzzle..Puzzle....

Imagine you are in a room with 3 switches. In an adjacent room there are 3 bulbs (let's say in lamps which are on a regular table), each switch belongs to one bulb. All are off at the moment. It is impossible to see from one room to another. No help from anybody else is allowed.
How can you find out which switch belongs to which bulb, if you may enter the room with the bulbs only once?

*****************

A man lives on the tenth floor of a building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator - or if it was raining that day - he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to his apartment. How come?

Russian Aeroflot Plane Crashes!

MOSCOW - A Russian Boeing 737-500 airliner crashed near the Ural mountains on Sunday, killing all 88 passengers and crew on board -- 21 of them foreign nationals.

The plane, operated by Russia's national airline Aeroflot and on an internal flight from Moscow, ploughed into wasteland while trying to land in the Siberian city of Perm.

Debris from the crash covered a section of Russia's main east-west railway, forcing its closure, Russian media reported. Television pictures showed firefighters walking round the smoldering, shattered remains of the plane.

Investigators were flying from Moscow to try and establish what caused the crash but there was no suggestion of an attack or sabotage.

"There were 88 people on board, 82 passengers and six crew," said Emergencies Ministry spokeswoman Irina Andrianova.

"All of them died. There were no casualties on the ground."

Aeroflot said 21 foreign nationals were among those killed -- nine from Azerbaijan, five from Ukraine and one person each from France, Switzerland, Latvia, the United States, Germany, Turkey and Italy. Seven children died in the crash.

Contact with the airliner was lost when it was at an altitude of 1,100 meters (3,600 ft) while descending to land, said an Aeroflot spokeswoman.

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev was briefed about the crash by Emergencies Minister Sergei Shoigu, news agencies quoted the Kremlin press service as saying.

The crash was the worst involving a Russian airliner since at least 170 people were killed in August 2006 when a Pulkovo Airlines TU-154 plane crashed in Ukraine on a flight from the Black Sea resort of Anapa to St Petersburg.

Aeroflot, a debt-ridden airline in the 1990s when it had a fleet of mainly Soviet-built planes, has transformed itself into an image conscious, profit-making company with global ambitions.

The last Aeroflot plane crash occurred in March 1994 in Siberia when 70 people were killed. Investigators blamed the pilot's teenage son for accidentally switching off the autopilot.

Last month, at least 65 people were killed when a Boeing 737-200 crashed in Kyrgyzstan, a Central Asian country that was once part of the Soviet Union.

A Short Story

A SHORT STORY

Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call from her husband Karthi,RAMYA(R): "Hello, yes Karthi".
KARTHI(K): "Ramya, can you open my gmail and get a print out of the mail from that USconsultant I forgot to take it in my office"
(R): "Yes, I can, I need your password"(K): "jeni22091980"(R): "Ok fine"
She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her mind now.JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm...
She decides not to discuss this with Karthi. She simply opens her mail box and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthiramya" and leaves for home!

MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!